20 January 2009

"Our long national nightmare is over"

Those were the words spoken by Gerald Ford after he took the oath of office in August 1974; he was referring of course to the Watergate affair at the end of the Nixon administration.

In January of 2001, even before George W. Bush assumed the presidency, the Onion used Ford's line in a parody, fictionally quoting Bush as saying "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over." Here are some other excerpts from that article:
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years...

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further..

...conservative talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh said "... Once again, we will enjoy mounting debt, jingoism, nuclear paranoia, mass deficit, and a massive military build-up."

"We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. "Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there's much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

Remember, this was written as a humor piece, was written before September 11, and before Bush began his first term as president.


  1. well I was happy to see the ending lines (before 9/11 and before his term)
    don't knock the mans ability to fight, I we had not gone for afganistan and iraq the american people would be "well are you gonna do something?" Dealt a band hand and decided not to fold.... Bush is a good leader, just didn't get the best outcome

  2. oh I forgot to mention that is a Ford quote.

  3. You didn't need to mention it; I did in the first sentence.

  4. Wow, get that writer a job with the psychic hotline.


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